Writing Reflection

Ideas and Content

My writing almost always makes sense, and I always have a clear and focused topic. Most of the time I know the topic well and include interesting and relevant details. Also, I almost always explain how my quotations relate to the main idea of the paragraph. In the Alchemist, I gave this quote and explanation, "But he decided to take a chance. A shepard always takes his chances with sheep and with drought, and that's what makes a shepards life exciting." (12) It is in Santiago's nature, as a shepard, to take chances and to be daring, whether dealing with his sheep, or his life. If he does not do so, he will never be able to learn from mistakes or move forward in his life to new and greater things." In Julius Caesar, I gave this quote and explanation, "That I did love thee, Caesar, O, 'tis true! If then thy spirit look upon us now, shall it not grieve thee dearer than thy death, to see thy Antony making his peace, shaking the bloody fingers of thy foes..." (pg 118) Antony wishes that if Caesar can see him now, he will not grieve to see him "befriending" the conspirators. Antony believes that his loyalty to Caesar is getting weaker, and because he values it so greatly, he prays Caesar will not think badly of him." One way in which I can better express my ideas and content is explaining even more how my quotes relate to the main idea of the paragraph. Though I do explain them, I only occasionally include the big picture in the explanation, and so I need to try to move away from the smaller ideas, and talk more about the big one.

Organization

My writing demonstrates appropriate organization, because I always have a clear thesis statement, that tells what the essay will focus on. My thesis for the Alchemist was, "Santiago's risk taking, spirituality, and open mindedness contribute to him achieving his destiny." My thesis for Caesar was "Antony is driven by his loyalty to Caesar, and the revenge he wishes to get on the conspirators." I also establish context prior to introducing a quote, and usually close my body paragraphs with transitioning/summarizing sentences. One way I could improve my organization is in my conclusion. As it is the final paragraph, I often do not have enough time to complete it, and to solve this, I can draft the essay before writing, and divide my time evenly between all paragraphs.

Personal Growth

I think that for the most part, my actual writing in the Julius Caesar essay has improved. The one exception for this is my conclusion, which got significantly worse, due to my running out of time. It was easier writing the Alchemist essay, because I was able to take it slow, and draft and revise it, before it was assessed. I felt a lot of pressure when writing the Julius Caesar essay, because I had a time limit and no chance to revise. Therefore, towards the end of my Julius Caesar essay, the writing started going downhill, but if you compared the beginnings of Caesar and the Alchemist, I think my writing did improve.

SLR Reflection

I communicate effectively when writing an essay, so that the reader does not get confused, and can easily follow along. I try to think of my audience when writing, and since it is my peers and teachers, I know that I cannot be too simple, or too complex with my words. Also, I try to make the essay easy to read for anyone, whether they have read the book I'm discussing or not, and so I therefore must have explanation of the text and story in my writing. Lastly, I must stay on topic when writing, so that the reader understands the point I am making and doesn't become lost when reading.

"Alignment"

Julius Caesar Essay

Marc Antony

“O pardon me, thou bleeding piece of earth, that I am meek and gentle with these butchers. Thou art the ruins of the noblest man that ever lived in the tide of times.” (3.1, lines 254-257) This quote, given by Antony, displays his true feelings after Caesar has been killed. He is shocked that his beloved leader is now dead, and overwhelmed with his immense love for Caesar and his extreme hate for the “butchers”. From here on, Antony is driven by his loyalty to Caesar, and the revenge he wishes to get on the conspirators. These strong emotions cause Antony to initiate a horrible war throughout Italy, so that Julius Caesar’s death will be avenged.

Of all the Romans who loved and honored Caesar, Antony was the most loyal of them all. Antony loved and respected Caesar, and valued their friendship greatly. When Caesar died, Antony’s loyalty did not decrease, and so he still felt he was responsible for doing whatever he could to keep Caesar content. He will do anything that will allow him to stay close to and protect Caesar. When Antony first speaks to the conspirators, after they have killed Caesar, Antony begs them to kill him as well, so he can be with Caesar. “No place will please me so, no mean of death, as here by Caesar, and by you cut off, the choice and master spirits of this age.” (pg. 116) Though Antony may not want to die, he will if it means he can be with Caesar, and though he should be enemies with Caesar’s killers, he wants them to kill him too, as it will tie him and Caesar tighter together, to be killed by all the same men. It shows just how much Antony cares for and respects Caesar. Antony also values his loyalty to Caesar greatly, and is afraid that even by pretending to be friends with the enemies, his loyalty will be broken. “That I did love thee, Caesar, O, ‘tis true! If then thy spirit look upon us not, shall it not grieve thee dearer than thy death, to see thy Antony making his peace, shaking the bloody fingers of thy foes…” (pg. 118) Antony wishes that if Caesar can see him now, he will not grieve to see him “befriending” the conspirators. Antony believes that his loyalty to Caesar is getting weaker, and because he values it so greatly, he prays Caesar will not think badly of him. Antony loved and respected Caesar immensely during life, and remains the same way, even in Caesar’s death.

As Caesar has been killed, Antony feels obligated to make sure he did not die in vain, and therefore, decides to get revenge. Antony is enraged with the conspirators for killing Caesar, who he admired deeply. He does not agree with their motives for Caesar’s death, and for that reason, believes they too should suffer. Antony begins to plan, and he wisely convinces many Romans to side with him, and start a war to avenge Caesar’s death. As Antony speaks to Caesar’s dead body, he tells him what he intends to do to justify the death. “Domestic fury and fierce civil strife shall cumber all the parts of Italy…” (pg. 124) Antony plans to destroy Italy, by ways of a civil war, and he will not leave a single part of the country untouched. Antony is clearly very upset by what has happened, and is confident that though it was a terrible deed, it will be repaid. Octavius has arrived in Rome, and he and Antony have an important discussing referring to their war plans. “These many then shall die; their names are prick’d.” (pg. 152) The men have constructed a list of the conspirators’ names, who must die, because they killed Caesar. This is evidence of how serious Antony is about giving the conspirators what they deserve: death. He will not stop until anyone who supported the conspirators and the conspirators themselves are dead, because their actions were unforgivable. Antony’s immense love for Caesar helps him in his ways of avenging the death and letting everyone know that Caesar should not have died.

Because of Antony’s loyalty and feelings of revenge, he was able to do justice for Caesar’s death. Antony’s goal was achieved in the end, because though he died not personally kill all the conspirators, they died in some way or another. The goal was a noble one, as Antony was Caesar’s friend, and remained so throughout everything that happened to them both.

The Next Step Forward

Think Creatively

I think the whole anchor of my collage, footsteps, is pretty creative. I was able to incorporate the footsteps in many forms throughout the collage, such as in the memoir, and the outline of the feet overlapping the pictures. Also, I made a little path going through the middle of the collage, which ties in with the feet walking on a path.

Reason Critically

I thought about all of the pictures and words on my collage, and picked out only those that I thought truly showed the Lost Boys' situation. We have studied Sudan and the Lost Boys for a long time, so I knew what the key aspects of their plight were, and tried to show those in my collage. The pictures highlight the different legs of their journey, from the villages, to the refugee camp to America, and the words, such as struggle, and abandonment give a sense of what they were feeling throughout their journey.

Communicate Effectively

In my collage, I included many pictures, word and phrases that really create awareness about the Lost Boys. I had several pictures of solidiers and fire, showing that the boys have lost their homes and families. Many of the pictures are of sad, lonely looking children, which I think really speaks to the viewer, telling them that these children have been through more than they can imagine. One phrase in particular stands out, I think; "God Grew Tired of Us", which is the title of a movie based on the Lost Boys plight. This shows how the boys have been almost completely abandoned, and are basically lost because God is no longer there for them, which is about as bad as anyone can get.

Live Ethically

Overall, I think my collage does provoke empathy and action in the viewer, because together, the words and pictures really make people want to help, and there are also solutions on the collage for how you can help. Again, the movie title "God Grew Tired of Us" is very powerful, as are the many pictures featuring Sudanese people who have lost everything and now rely on us. I included the Red Cross logo and mission statement, "Our world. Your move.", because they are a well-known agency, who is working on the Sudanese crisis. Also, the relief agency, "Save the Children" is on the collage, with a logo and statement saying, "We Save the Children. Will you?" which incites people to join with these programs and help Sudan.

"Footprints"

The Harder the Journey, the Better the Prize

Peter Kon Dut, of the Dinka tribe, has lived a life full of struggle. He was forced to leave Sudan, his destroyed home country, and after ten years of living in a Kenyan refugee camp, was invited to migrate to the United States, where he could start a new and better life. While life in America would certaintly give Peter a chance at things he never would've gotten in Kenya, it would not be nearly as easy, or rewarding as he first imagined.
Peter arrived in Houston, and began to make a life there. Many things were new to him, such as using a stove, driving a car, and buying clothes and other household supplies. Though Peter had many close friends living with him in Houston, he occasionally missed his family and life back in the refugee camp. Though it wasn't as nice as life in Houston, at least he fit in there, where as in the U.S. he was often looked at because he was"too black". Peter was also disappointed to discover that he was too old to go to school and get an education, something he very much wanted to do, so that he could help support his family and friends still living at the camp. Frustrated with Houston and the limitations he faced there, Peter decided to go to Kansas, where more of his friends from Kenya lived.
Once in Kansas, Peter started going to high school. Since he didn't know his actual birthday, he got a birth certificate saying he was young enough to go to school. After several months of high school, Peter had made many friends, which he started hanging out with and dressing like, helping him fit in much better. He also joined a prayer group consisting of his new school friends, and got a job. However, the job was low-paying, and Peter had to use the money to pay rent and buy food, therefore leaving him with very little to send back to his family, much to his dismay.
Though Peter still faced some hardships in the U.S, life there was much better than life in the camp, even without his family. He ended up graduating from high school, something he never would've gotten to do, and after a long time of saving, was able to send money and help his family and friends in Kenya. It took some time, but Peter adjusted very well to the American life-style, and overcame the conflicts and struggles he faced while trying to live a better life.